Of Ceilings, Mismatched Shoes & Wit Beyond Measure
by calliopeinbloom
Summary: Luna and the Sorting Hat have a rather interesting conversation...  I feel obliged to point out that this is NOT ROMANCE.


**Title:** Of Ceilings, Mismatched Shoes and Wit Beyond Measure  
><strong>Author: <strong>calliopeinbloom  
><strong>Length<strong>**:** One-shot  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Luna, The Sorting Hat, Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Salazar Slytherin and Rowena Ravenclaw.  
><strong>Rating:<strong> G  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>None, unless you count the mention of a death that takes place before the action of the series. Also, a shoddy attempt at the Four Founders' Scottish accents.  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Luna and the Sorting Hat have a rather interesting conversation...  
><strong>Author's Notes:<strong> We're assuming here that the recreation of Ravenclaw's lost diadem has been the life-long ambition of Xenophilius Lovegood. Other than that, it's pretty canon-compliant all the way through; Harry and Ron missed this Sorting, so we have no idea what went on.  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>It's fiction. Everything that you recognise has been borrowed from a rather brilliant someone else; everything you don't was probably shamelessly stolen from someone else anyway. I promise to put the characters back where and how you found them when I'm finished.

* * *

><p>Luna had never seen such an interesting ceiling, not even in her castle-shaped home. She'd painted all of the ceilings at home, of course, with creatures from <em>Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them <em>and other animals from her father's description, but it didn't compare to the magnificence of Hogwarts' Great Hall. Here, it was _alive_ with the dance of the planets, and the stars twinkled gently down on her. She frowned when she realised couldn't see a certain pattern... ah, there it was...

"Always look out for Ursa Major," her mother had said apropos of nothing one day, as they walking through the fields that surrounded their home.

Luna frowned in confusion. She knew the twelve uses of dragon blood (twelve if one ignored the new thirteenth one her father had discovered, which most books seemed to), she knew what to do when confronted with a Heliopath and she knew that it was dangerous to carry out experiments with her mother's wand (the green in her hair had just faded out), but she also knew that there were many things that were beyond her ken; some would remain so, others would not.

"What's Ursa Major?"

Her mother looked down at her and smiled at her gently, squeezing her hand a little. "It's a constellation. A pattern of stars that represent an important figure or story," she explained further.

Luna considered this. "I like that. Who was Ursa Major?"

Her mum was silent for so long that Luna thought she wasn't going to answer. "She was a mother," she said simply. "One who loved her child very much, so much that she died for it." She looked down at her daughter, whose eyes were like saucers. "I just want you to know that whatever happens to me, I will always be with you."

Luna nodded silently. As frightening as the idea of her mother not being alive was, she was somehow comforted by the idea of being watched over from the heavens for the rest of time. This conversation meant that it didn't come as a shock to Luna when, a few months later, she found herself motherless. Relatives from the more distant branches found Luna's serenity in the face of such an awful event discomfiting, and they visited her and her father less and less as time went on until it was as if the Lovegood family only consisted of her father, Luna herself and that bright, twinkling constellation in the sky.

"Lovegood, Luna!"

Luna took her eyes from the ceiling and looked at the raised platform on which the stool sat, Professor McGonagall standing behind it with a rather stern but not unkind expression on her face, holding a roll of parchment and the rather-shabby looking Sorting Hat. She looked around at the Great Hall; her new peers were looking back at her with a mixture of disdain and fascination. Luna had a feeling it was something she might have to get used to.

Taking her time to walk to the front, she took in the mass of students looking at her expectantly. It was stranger than she'd expected, simply because she was so used to adult company; her father and his _Quibbler_ associates never babied her, but talked to her as if she was their contemporary. People her age tended to shout a lot and interrupt each other and make very quick judgements, and it was a bit of a culture shock, to say the least.

She had a full view of everyone in the Great Hall before the Hat covered her eyes completely. Luna looked this way and that, not that it made any difference because the darkness was so complete.

"Well, well, well, isn't _this_ interesting," said a rather snide voice into her ear.

"What's interesting?" Luna said in her head. Instinctively, she knew the Hat would hear her.

She could almost hear the smirk in the Hat's voice when it answered. "It's interesting to have another Lovegood in my grasp. Figuratively speaking, that is."

Luna chuckled, because the idea of millinery making jokes about its lack of hands was, while not far-fetched, incredibly amusing. "Figuratively speaking," she agreed. "Have you made a decision about my Sorting, then?"

The Hat chuckled. "The question is, have you?"

Luna considered this. "I have an idea as to where I'd like to go and I've heard recommendations from past students, but I'd like to hear information from a more direct source, I think." She paused and bit her lip, hoping that her gut instinct would be right, hoping that the Hat wouldn't be yet another person who laughed at her ideas as outlandish or _weird_. "May I speak to the Four Founders, please?"

There was a deep silence. If the Hat had had eyes, it would be staring at her in shock. It shifted on her head, rather uncomfortably, it seemed.

Finally: "About time!" A gruff but warm male voice spoke directly into her head and Luna nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Honestly, Godric, don't scare the poor lass!" A new voice – female, rather maternal, older-sounding than the first voice – scolded the first, and the Hat shifted on Luna's head again.

"Oh, I'm not scared," Luna said politely, even though she _was_ a little nervous. "I'm Luna Lovegood, by the way. May I ask your names?"

"What a lovely young bairn," cooed the second voice. "I'm Helga Hufflepuff, and the young ruffian here–" The Hat moved, as if Helga had shoved someone. "– is Godric."

"Godric Gryffindor, if you _please_." Luna had a sudden mental image of a red-haired, bearded young man adjusting his coat with a pompous attitude.

"Settle down, children." A third, much more refined voice cut in. "I'm Salazar Slytherin. Are you not a pureblood?"

"Yes," Luna replied peaceably. "I'm also left-handed and prefer Gurdyroot tea to pumpkin juice, but I doubt you're going to base a choice that could affect the next seven years of my life on that information, so why should my heritage be a deciding factor?"

A rich, warm chuckle sounded through Luna's mind. "I like her." The fourth voice sounded like she was smirking. "Luna, you said your name was?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Luna heard the chuckle again. "I like her even more. And you can call me Rowena," she added as an aside to Luna.

"Thank you, Rowena. Daddy's trying to make a copy of your lost diadem, you know. He's using very different components, though," Luna said excitedly.

There was a rather awkward silence, one that was broken by Helga. "Ah... Um, Rowena generally prefers not to talk of the diadem. It's a rather _sensitive_ subject, you see..."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Rowena! I didn't know." Luna frowned worriedly.

Rowena – or at least, Luna assumed it was Rowena – sniffed. "That's fine," she said; her voice sounded rather muffled. "Anyway, we were told you wanted to speak with us."

"Yes, please," Luna said, glad to be moving away from the subject that seemed to have upset her new friend so much. "I just wanted to hear directly from you about the Houses. I think a thousand years of House rivalries and rumours might have skewed things a little."

"Wise girl," Helga noted with approval. "Can you work hard?"

Luna thought about this. "Yes, when I'm interested in what I'm working on."

"So you wouldn't be able to apply yourself to, say, Arithmancy?" asked Helga.

Luna opened her mouth to reply and then closed it again. Daddy had tried to start her off early with the more 'academic' subjects like Arithmancy and History of Magic, hoping that the combination of a serious, studious attitude with the dreamier nature she'd inherited from her mother would make life easier for Luna. History she'd managed with, because Luna liked telling stories and that was all it was; how events played out and were viewed depended entirely on who was writing it, the victor or the loser. Arithmancy was far too black and white for her tastes, though.

"Probably not," Luna admitted.

"Well, I thank you for your honesty," Helga said warmly. "But I must reciprocate and tell you that you are probably not suited to Hufflepuff."

"Thank you all the same, Helga," Luna said with unfailing politeness.

"You ruled yourself out when you renounced your bloodline as an advantage," Salazar said simply. "I will not disgrace Slytherin House by Sorting you there."

"Don't start with that again, Salazar!" Godric said hotly. "If someone has magical ability, we have an obligation to teach them how to harness it properly and to their full potential, regardless of bloodlines. You have not been fair to this child."

"Fine," Salazar said acidly. "Child, do you want to be Sorted into Slytherin House?"

Luna thought about it; she had a mad moment and wondered what would happen if the Hat suddenly decided to shout out "SLYTHERIN!". But then she remembered the coldness the Slytherin table seemed to emanate. Luna wasn't one to judge based on nothing based on gossip and hearsay, but none of the pupils there looked like friends; it was as if they were dining with their business associates.

"No, thank you," Luna replied.

"Fair's fair," Salazar said icily, and Luna felt him leave her mind with an odd gushing sensation.

"Looks like the competition is between us, Rowena," Godric said, and Luna could hear a chuckle in his voice.

"Honestly, Godric, must you turn everything into a competition?" She sounded annoyed, but came across as the mock-exasperation shared between friends rather than genuine irritation.

"Fortune favours the brave!" Godric said with a booming laugh. "And I know all about bravery, my wee lass..." he said in an aside to Luna.

"Do you think I'm brave?" Luna asked curiously.

"Hmm." There was a pause as he considered. "I think you could be. Your shoes show that you definitely don't care about what others think."

Luna smiled as she thought of her footwear. She hadn't been able to decide between her sea-green ballroom slippers and the Muggle black and white canvas trainers an aunt had bought for her birthday, so she'd decided to wear both.

"I thought it would be wise not to make up my mind, as if I'd only worn one kind of shoe, I'd have spent the whole train journey annoyed with myself for not wearing the others and I don't make the best impression when I'm grumpy. It's not the best way to make friends."

There was a silence.

"Looks like I've won, dear Godric," Rowena said, amused.

"I thought life wasn't a competition, _dear _Rowena," Godric bit back.

Her only answer was to laugh and say, "Welcome to Ravenclaw, my dear."

It wasn't until Luna took off the Hat and handed it back to Professor McGonagall with a smile that she realised Rowena had said the last part out loud, and now all the students and a good few of the teachers were staring at her, because (as Luna would later find out) for the first time in recorded history, another voice had emerged from the Hat. She could see the confusion and the fascination in their eyes and it made her feel strange, like the insects she liked to hold in the palm of her hand and stare at.

_If this is how the ladybirds feel_, thought Luna fervently as she made her way to the Ravenclaw table (who by now had gathered their not insignificant wits about them and were clapping politely, albeit with a little reluctance), _I'm never going to examine another one ever again._

She looked up and down the table, studiously ignoring the outright stares of her new House. _Oh, yummy. _Luna smiled to herself with pleasure on seeing plates set out for the Feast. _I hope there's dessert._


End file.
